Tag: #Import 2025-04-25 15:23

http://members.surfeu.fi/kklaine/primebear.html

‘Unless you’re high – which we are not insinuating you should be – you won’t spend too much time on this site. There’s little of substance and only one page but on that page you find the oddest content on possibly the entire Internet.

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Alkulukuja Paskova Karhu, the Prime Number Shitting Bear. Alkulukuja has one job and, as you may have already guessed, it is to poop prime numbers.

Watch in amazement as he lets 1s, 3s, 5s, and 7s fly. Stare at his line-art rectum as it lets 11s and 13s loose. Folks, this bear is truly dropping bombs. This is fun for the entire family. It’s educational. It’s immature. It’s a lesson in computer design. The best part is that it keeps statistics. Count along with the amount of prime numbers he’s shit. Guess ahead to what he’ll dump out next. Oh, it’s like a Family Channel sitcom, packed tight with endless fun. Seriously, does it get any better than this?

Sadly, it does – but not on this site. So, we’ll just have to pretend for now.

There are only two negative aspects to this page. For one, the address is difficult to remember. As of July, the site was supposed to move over to http://www.primenumbershittingbear.com but it has yet to do so. Also, there are many more fun and amusing aspects to this site, but they are in what appears to be Finnish. So, it’s kind of difficult to read what has been written, unless you happen to be from Finland or speak their lovely language. Then, for the love of God, will you tell the rest of us what the hell is going on?

Well, there is a page of quotes featuring numerous sayings in English such as “Don’t be a hero. Always run away while the hero dies” and “If it has tits or wheels it will give you a problem.”

Those are their words, not ours. So whether you need to know what prime number follows 18461 or to find practical or slightly misogynistic sayings, Prime Number Shitting Bear is the place to go.

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons

‘It’s becoming increasingly difficult to avoid short Flash films on the Internet, and weeding out the bad ones is not a fun prospect. But discovering the funny ones is always a treat – especially if someone points you in the direction of the site.

Weebls-stuff is one of the most interesting, non self-promoting site suggestions we’ve received all year. It’s humorous and unique and captivating, three essential ingredients for good Flash films. The only problem is, we’re still not sure how the hell to describe it.

Under the main page, located at http://www.weebls-stuff.com, the site user is given many options. In addition to the typical news and links portions of the site, there is a time-consuming game subsection. It’s safe to say that their top games, like Car Death Auto, Suicidal Super Puppy and Monkey Shoot are unlike any other you’re find anywhere else on the Web. Go ahead, search. If you find something more quirky, let us know.

The games are fun and there are some interesting threads on the forum – but the real meat and potatoes of this site is the Toons section. In it, you will find three full pages of some odd cartoons. It’s hard to say what function these cartoons serve but it’d be a good guess to say that they were made while high. The repetitive motions and beats give that away. If viewed while high, plan on watching the same cartoon a handful of times or so before understanding what it’s about.

Their trademark seems to be when they cover one very boiled-down topic like the fact that there are lions in Kenya, or badgers and magic mushrooms. Many of their ‘toons tackle such topics but each retains its singular hilarity.

“The Lord” and “The Lord 2,” dealing with an old British lord’s drug binges, are possibly the funniest of the cartoons on the site. Also, check out “Merry Christmas,” “Special Edition” and “Bonjour.” You may not understand it but, most of the times, there’s nothing to understand – just enjoy.

s/t

‘Boysetsfire has unintentionally released an onslaught of bands attempting to parody their name, including Boy Hits Car, and now Rock Kills Kid. The latter of the two is a much more clever name. It’s a shame the music does not follow suit. It starts off strong and with a good deal of promise. At some point around the opening “Closing Time” ripped-off riff of “Miracle,” the second track, it heads downhill. It quickly becomes bad radio rock. That is not to say that radio rock is bad, just that this is BAD radio music. Leave the indie pop to the masters, like Jimmy Eat World. High points: The name, the vocal melodies, and the drumming. Low point: They seem to have expended their creative energies in coming up with a name. It hits rock bottom by “Everything to Me,” the third track.

fall back open

‘Fall Back Open? has taken a while to absorb. Its lackadaisical layers wander aimlessly throughout the course of the records.

Clichxefxbfxbd yet most appropriate words: sweeping soundscapes, singular, auspicious.

Now It?s Overhead?s most recent Saddle Creek debut speaks of sounds from about a half-decade passed. The album is filled with mid-90?s Thrill Jockey-style sounds. The clicking, shiftless guitars sound like they may have been pulled directly from a Tortoise of Sea and Cake record.

The spaced-out vocals present some form for the song to exist in but the most literal of the instruments used is the drums. The songs? drumbeats are a bit more straightforward and aggressive than everything else to the album but, it seems, the reason for this is to give the rest of the band a structure from which they can easily depart.

The best guitar work and worst backing vocal appearance collide with Michael Stipe?s guest appearance on the track ?Antidote.? The opening ?forked-tongue venom? line clashes horribly against the dynamics of the song. It leaves a bad taste.

As for the remainder of the album, it is a strong, consistent effort from this powerhouse of a band. ?Antidote,? with the help of one of rock?s most successful artists, ironically, is the weakest of the tracks.

?Fall Back Open,? the prodigious title track, on the other hand, is the band?s strongest showing. It doesn?t hurt that this song features the assistance of Conor Oberst.

Straight across the board, this is a strong sophomore Saddle-Creek release from the label?s only non-Omaha-based bands.

black city

‘It’s official. The American music scene is a becoming a thing of the past. The Swedish have invaded and the last of the influential bands are dying somewhere in the midwest, with the Vagrant bands running scared like the French forces.

Prepare for an attack. DOLL is bringing their forces, including “Black City,” onto the mainland and they’re moving fast.

How can you not give a band whose opening track is entitled “You Need to Get Some” credit? What a way to kick off an album.

The album continues along this path, screaming vocals that attempt to make surface-level criticisms about society based on the rough and tough stories of their childhood (“The Truth is Fucked,” “I Guess I’m Healed”). Even in the most sincere attempts to express deeply personal sentiments, the music is still accompanied by the head-bopping, fist flailing typical of this type of music.

How do the band members feel about DOLL? Well, Per Stalberg (guitars/vocals) is gaining a reputation for making statement such as this one made in the November14, 2002 issue of Rolling Stone: “We can’t lie about it – we know that we’re one of the best bands there is. It’s not like we’re bragging. We just are.” Holy pretensions, Batman.

While the band is good, pretty high quality actually, they are cut from the same cloth as The Hives. There is very little difference in the sound of the two bands.

Division of Laura Lee represents nothing new to the ears of the masses. They’re songs consist of the retried and still true method of mod rock that is being produced in droves in Sweden and, apparently, the rest of the world. Whatever they do, though, they do it well. As a result, Sweden can finally clear their name of ABBA, Roxette, and Ace of Base.

Starting slowly with The Cardigans, the Swedish invasion began. The Refused moved in quietly. Now, it is hard to distinguish between American and Swedish bands. The International Noise Conspiracy, Millencolin, The Hives, and The Hellacopters have all paved the road from Europe into our airwaves.

Powered by the fuel of “Need to Get Some” and “The Truth is Fucked,” Division of Laura Lee won’t seem to be going anywhere for a while. So, prepare yourself ladies and gentlemen. This invasion is going to last a long time.

truly she is none other

‘Well, well, well, what sort of bold claim do we have here? Like none other, you say?

I have to admit that I had not even heard of Holly Golightly before this release came into the office. The name made me think of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” which made me think of that God-AWFUL Deep Blue Something song – which put the record at a disadvantage right off the bat.

The album sat for a little while before I finally brought myself to listen to it. Once I found out that Holly Golightly is apparently her real name, I agreed to give it a shot. I was pleasantly surprised.

Think mod-pop, retro-garage, super-fuzzed-out or overly trebled guitars (probably Telecasters) scaling on top of bass parts with no bottom end, and the occasional Brit-pop tune. Well, that last one can’t be helped. A few of the songs on this record were written by none other that The Kinks’ Ray Davies.

After subduing my desire to dislike this album (which was difficult due in part to promo/intro written by The White Stripes’ Jack White in the album’s jacket sleeve) it became clear that this record is pretty damn good, despite its use of the phrase “You complete me.” With so much working against Ms. Golightly, her latest release, “Truly She is None Other” weathered the test. It survived. Congratulations, Holly. I’m an evil bastard when it comes to record reviews.

Her voice works well over the music. What gave put this record over the top, though, was the fact that it sounds like something pulled from my parents’ vinyl collection. It gave “Truly She is None Other” a vintage, nostalgic feel to it.

rua

‘Whoa. This is the last record you need to hear in order to be able to confidently make the statement “Now I’ve heard everything.”

“Rua” is an astounding effort by Clann Z?. Categorizing it properly is simply impossible. Throughout the course of this record the band’s sound ranges from the Chieftains to Gorillaz to Eminem to U2. After that, any attempts to track traceable influences must be thrown out the window.

Now located in Galway and Dublin, this once Australian band originally released “Rua” two years ago. Eventually, they found themselves signing on with G7, who tied a new ribbon around this pleasant surprise and re-released it to the other half of the globe.

Clann Z? innovatively combines sweeping guitar melodies, entrancing violin parts, highly synthetic pulsating drumbeats and vocals that show off a cement-thick brogue.

At points, though, Declan de Barra’s brogue is too thick. Towards the end of “all that you’ve ever known,” the album’s fourth track, Barra’s voice becomes reminiscent of the background music Trey Parker and Matt Stone create for their comedies. It makes you want to sing “Now you’re a man. A man, man, man.”

That aside, nothing really lags behind on this album. All of the songs’ respective parts keep up with the unique pace the opening song “words for now” sets. Even the PC- and Mac-compatible video for “five thousand more” is attention-grabbing.

Next to “words for now,” “all the people now” may be the highlight of the album. It combines jungle beats and trip-hop rhythms with intermittent spoken-word segments and a vocal melody worthy of a new Scorpions hit.

Clann Z?’s use of traditional Irish folk gives a facelift to the genre. Their amalgamation of styles is an unprecedented feat that needs to be lauded. An extensive amount of effort must go into each of the band’s songs.

The band heads back to the studio in a month to work on their second album. Keep an eye out for it, but make sure to pick a copy of “Rua” up too.

It’s not just Starbucks anymore

‘The day Botch broke up was a sad day for the Math-punk kids.

They seemed to have it all. Although the band remained in the shadows of the scene for a majority of their life span, those who knew them respected them. Botch, to many, was the band from which to get your quality Metal-edged punk.

Unfortunately, around the same time, the scene was also destined to suffer the losses of Kill Sadie, Nineironspitfire, as well as another band we promised we wouldn’t mention. The scene was not left completely destitute despite these losses, but there was something definitely missing, something indefinable but nonetheless something. And that something was felt. It was a hole that needed to be filled.

Members of the punk and indie communities have been down in that hole and forced to look up to the heavens for an answer. In the clearing skies, a star shone brightly that led their attentions to the West, where we they to find the birth of a new band in the most unlikely of places.

This band was born to fulfill a musical promise made over a decade ago, in a place that had been all but hopelessly abandoned for its lack of ability to produce a decent amount of songwriting talents. That band is These Arms Are Snakes (TAAS) and that place where the star guided them is Seattle.

“Right now, it is probably the best time for music in Seattle because there are so many great bands,” began These Arms Are Snakes guitarist Ryan Frederiksen. “It is a vast array where no two bands sound alike.”

The Seattle scene has been in the process of reemergence for a few years and now it burgeons fruitfully at a quick and steady pace. Within about half a decade or so, it has put forth a multitude of noteworthy bands including Pretty Girls Make Graves, Murder City Devils, Death Cab For Cutie, as well as many others, including These Arms Are Snakes.

“There’s a lot of love (with heavy emphasis on the word love) goin’ on in Seattle,” continued Frederiksen. “It’s nice but we need some kind of drama, you know what I mean?”

The only noticeable drama that may come out of Seattle is that they finally have earned bragging rights again. The city can point their finger towards cities such as Chicago wondering, “What’s up now?”

It goes without saying that the music groups from this area have not been able to collectively band together and consider themselves a thriving scene for about eight or nine years now, since the word grunge became taboo.

“With grunge, all of those bands got lumped together as one sound, even though Nirvana sounded nothing like Alice in Chains. Now, there’s absolutely no way to pinpoint one, even generic, sound,” says Fredriksen.

One band that has had no difficulties distinguishing itself and finding its own distinct sound is TAAS. They are a band that actually fits the definition of a progressive punk band. Not progressive in the sense that they have long-winded guitar solos, vocals that sound like Geddy Lee, and time signatures that require a metronome, pen and paper, and a calculator to figure out. They are post-prog in that sense. Rather, they are progressive in the sense that they are a visible disturbance, shifting the sands of punk rock.

Within the first thirty seconds of their soon-to-be-released first Jade Tree EP, “This is Meant to Hurt You,” the comparisons to Fugazi are inevitable. The music is tight, intellectual, and complex. Most visibly, vocalist Steve Snere’s voice closely parallels the tones of Ian Mackaye. It’s only a matter of a few more minutes before Snere’s voice takes a back seat and the music unexpectedly changes from hard and thrashing to moody and melodic and back again throughout the rest of the songs.

“It’s kind of cool. Every time people say we sound like a band, it’s something different. Some people have told us that we sound like Fugazi, others think we’re trying to sound like the Refused, and a lot of people actually tell us we sound like the Jesus Lizard,” says Fredriksen.

These Arms have been already deemed the next big Jade Tree band, an impressive feat of accomplishment after only a year of being together. The band’s PR company claims that, although pre-sales on the EP just began, they have already pre-sold around 5,000 CDs and have had nearly a million clicks on their website. There’s something incredibly magnetic about this band.

dialogic

‘”Dialogic” is a love affair between a boy and his computer. It is an amalgamated mix of jungle beats, indie guitars, and spacey electronica drawing on numerous colors of the spectral ray in this prism of sound. See American Analog Set, My Bloody Valentine, and The Roots for comparison. Add vocal comparisons to a subdued Billy Corgan on a great day.

As the album title suggests, A Study in Her consists mainly of a shared microphone between ex-Jenhitt frontman Costas Nakassis and frontwoman Tamara Black. Unlike Rainer Maria, though, their intellectual capacity highly surpasses the level of make-you-sick “I love you” songs. Actually, whatever lyrics are actually understandable, require the assistance of a dictionary, and a linguistics aficionado to comprehend. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. Enter “Tropes on Television,” which seems just a little too plastic and forced to fit in with the other 11 tracks.

After a long gestation period of recording album upon album fit for release only to friends, “Dialogic” is the first full length release mastered and tailored for the general public. Reminiscent of a good book or movie, the songs required numerous drafts and revisions from their early stages. Now, like “Fight Club,” the album reveals its secrets with time and patience. The more you listen, the more you learn.

Picture a kid in a music store playing on a keyboard. Ignore the atrocious dins extolled from the tiny speakers and imagine the wistful symphony of sound in that child’s imagination. That is ASIH: an ethereal mix of harmonies and melodies too complex for most to produce in practice.

That picture is not too far off from the actual ASIH songwriting process. More often then not, the music is scripted by Costas. Then the actors are called in to try out to fit each part best. “Dialogic” is more like a musical play, taking shape in surround sound around your ears.

It is a love affair that extends beyond the limits of a boy and his computer. It is an obsession with music, intellectualism, and a deep and profound respect for all people invited to take part in the ASIH microcosm. It is a test, pushing the limits of traditional instrumentation juxtaposed against experimental electronica. If it makes a sound, it is fair game.

ASIH is a good red wine, or expensive cigar. It is an acquired taste, that expects a prerequisite knowledge of the mechanics of music. It is that same imaginative child, deconstructing the whole into little pieces and putting it all back together in the way that is best seen fit.

shootenany!

‘E, E, E. What’s going on, buddy?

You make a good point when you sing, “Good things don’t ever last… That time is good and gone.”

Oh the bittersweet irony of that statement. The record has become its own self-fulfilling prophecy.

Minus the drum machine, the poorly titled “Shootenany!” is textbook blues. The problem is that it’s missing a soul. Where’s the love? Where’s the emotion? They’re “good and gone.”

OK, although this record is rife with disappointment, that is not a completely fair criticism. Eels frontman Mark Oliver “E” Everett reprieves himself with three of the album’s tracks: “Love of the Loveless,” “Dirty Girl,” and “Rock Hard Times.”

E may chant lines such as “I am the man” on “Love of the Loveless,” but at least he strikes sincerity and that’s what counts. As a matter of fact, this song is the closest E comes on this record to reaching the same instant gratification of his initial critical success, “Novocain for the Soul.”

On many records, it is easy to distinguish the artists who have a burning need to make music and the bands that enter the studio merely to fulfill the stipulations of a contract. If those two items were put on a linear scale, “Shootenany!” would rank pretty far to the right, closer to the latter of the two options. It gets point for merit and technical skill but there are no existent metaphysical or ethereal levels.

“Shootenany!” is a scale model of Beck’s bluesier works. E’s raspy and partially apathetic vocals hit right in the Beck range. The gritty guitars and harmonica solos are right on target too. What separates Beck from the Eels, though, is his remarkable ability to breathe life into every work that he creates.

The Eels’ guitar parts often nod to a Muddy Waters influence. But, alas, Water has that same gift that Beck has but the Eels missed out on.

There’s a windup, E steps in for the punch, misses, and falls flat on his face.

While there are a few upbeat tracks, most of “Shootenany!” is packed with soul-purging, wrist-slitting, self-loathing pity. Do not listen to this album on a bad day. However, if you are looking for a sleeping aid, this may be the perfect natural remedy.

One more thing – exclamation points should be reserved for fourteen-year-olds’ love letters and cheesy greeting cards.