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http://www.extremeironing.com

‘Just when you thought you had the ability to distinguish between the actual and the parodied, extreme sport enthusiasts have done something completely unexpected: they’ve made ironing a sport.

According to British creator Phil “Steam” Shaw, during an interview with BBC News last year, the beauty of Extreme Ironing is that it “combines the thrill of an extreme sport with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt.”

Extreme Ironing merges the world of the domesticated with the world of the outdoorsman. It’s simultaneously rugged and refined, while still maintaining a semblance of good taste.

In short, this is no activity for aging sedentary housewives. This is a way to teach that wayward, athletic child some responsibility.

That same child can win a medal if (s)he gets good enough.

Last September, the first Extreme Ironing Championships took place. The Brits conquered the competition on the sport’s homeland. The Championship included teams from nine different nations. Two British teams took home both the gold and bronze medals.

Shaw’s motto is “An ironed shirt in hand is worth two in the basket.” This is not a saying that he takes lightly, considering the fact that the champions are judged partly on their ironing skills.

According to BBC News, the contestants “were judged on their creative ironing skills as well as the quality of the creases in the clothing, which included tea towels, T-shirts and boxer shorts.”

That goes to show you that you may not be able to judge a book by its cover but someday soon you may be able to judge an athlete by the crease in his/her shirt.

Same as it ever was

‘The most prominent of bands succeed because they defy convention. But they do so in moderation. Without the need to push the envelope or to focus on vanguard sounds, these well-respected bands use the tools at their disposal to create an entirely new sound out of a preexisting style.

Engine Down is one of these bands. When attempting to place the band in a certain category, none seem accurate enough to describe what they do. They are the odd pegs out.

Founded in Harrison, Virginia nearly a decade ago out of the ashes of Sleepytime Trio, The Weak Link Breaks and Bughummer, the band uses a novel approach to songwriting that incorporates any number of non-traditional instruments to fine-tune their sound. Over the course of three full-length albums and a handful of seven-inchers, their sound is more than demure. It is sublime.

The same is certain to be true when their much-anticipated fourth offering reaches completion. At this point, that may still be a long ways off, and Engine Down bassist Jason Wood, formerly of The Weak Link Breaks, has no intention of letting the cat out of the bag.

“We just listened to the rough mixes of the album,” he said. “We’re making our notes and sending them back to Brian McTernan (producer and engineer for the likes of Thrice, Hot Water Music, Cave In) so we can pick an order in which we feel happy with everything.”

His fear is that whatever he says now will be inaccurate by the time the record comes out. So much can change over a short period of time.

Now out of the studio, the band has shopped the record around to labels but has no idea who will end up putting it out.

“Technically, we’re still doing one more tour on our last record (‘Demure’),” Wood said. “It puts us in a weird spot because we have all of these new songs but nobody has heard any of them yet. We’re really excited about the upcoming album but can do little about it.”

As a compromise, they have agreed to sample three of their new songs throughout the course of this tour. The downside is that nobody will be singing along. Then again, mp3s leak so quickly that the band may find themselves in shock at how many people know the words. But that is unlikely.

While the crowd will probably remain quiet through these new tunes, that silence will most likely be pregnant. Rather than being bored to death, chances are this will be a good opportunity for audiences to absorb the new step in their evolution.

Part of that development comes along with a new-found sense of commitment to the band. Lead singer Keely Davis and drummer Jonathan Fuller felt it necessary to leave their other musical venture, Denali, behind. The fact that this project was fronted by Keely’s sister, Maura, made the decision even more difficult.

“I just don’t think that people realize how hard it is to be in two bands that have two albums come out around the same time,” said Wood. “Keely and Jonathan would get home from an Engine Down tour and head right back out on the road with Denali. It was really draining for them.”

Keely and Maura have close-knit ties and are sad to be apart from each other, but this is being viewed as an opportunity for each of the two bands. It has freed both of them up to tour at the same time in different locations, as they are doing right now.

Whether or not this will mean more tour dates or not for Engine Down is uncertain – but each show is guaranteed a higher level of energy than it might have had a year or two ago.

The shared dates between brother and sister’s ventures may now be kept to a minimum, which can only mean half as many depressing and ambiguous lyrics per show but twice as many downtrodden shows to go to.

“Each time we go out by ourselves, the tours seem to get a little bit better,” said Wood. “You grow with each step you take and we’re at the point where we’ve got all the bases covered and learned from the mistakes we made in the past.”

http://www.ihatemyjob.com

‘You know those days where you wish you had called in sick from work? Or, how about those days where you are forced to work with some people who consider themselves to be God’s gift to your particular place of employment? Or perhaps even the world itself? Everyone has muttered the phrase “I hate my job” at least once over the course of a lifetime.

It may not be your current job you hate. Or, it may be your current job that makes you wish you were unemployed, homeless, and begging for food on the street corner of a pedestrian mall. Either way, this sentiment is something to which everyone can relate.

Well, IHateMyJob.com is the place for you. The content of this website is almost entirely user-submitted and, when you consider the amount of posting on the discussion board alone, you know that you are not alone in the sense of loathing that overcomes you when you walk through the office door.

The people who post on this site may not have interesting stories to tell. They may not even be able to spell. That’s all right, though. Just reading the posts is therapeutic. There are people who can empathize with your position and someone can always be found that is in a worse position than you are.

On IHateMyJob.com, you can read job-related jokes; click around humorous pictures that look like something you’d see hanging in your dentist’s office, and even search for new jobs. Yes, this site even offers a solution to your problems. People can post and search jobs through the site.

While online, if you have a joke or comment of your own, you can post it online. Submissions are not only accepted but they are encouraged here. If not, you can steal a picture and make it the desktop of your computer. Why not?

banded blue

‘Indie rock has a 50/50 shot amid the masses.

The most forthcoming sub-genre to prevail consists of short and winding intricate guitar licks, dominant and sometimes off-tempo drumming, and a cross midway between catchy and unique.

Depending upon which era’s perspective is taken, the influences can range from Mineral and Sunny Day Real Estate, to Guns ‘N’ Roses, to Christopher Cross’s “Sailing.” Admittedly, that sounds odd, but the guitar progressions usually fall into one of two categories: broken-up licks directly removed from solos or arpeggiated open chords broken into choppy bits to give them more of a complex edge.

MTV will catch up with it in five years like it is now catching onto the poppy punksters Saves the Day and A Newfound Glory. MTV2 might catch up in three.

This might not be an insult to the sub-genre. It requires a bit of brains and fast, loose fingers in order to be able to write and play such music.

What more could be asked for out of such a band? How about a female vocalist who has the ability to turn both phrases and heads?

Enter The English System. The band is fronted by Jessica Larrabee. Her range is dynamic, deep and alluring. Imagine Billie Holliday with the ability to get sounds out of a Fender that not even Leo Fender himself could have anticipated.

Of course, Jessica’s voice is not the only good thing about the band, but it is arguably the main attraction.

For a band that’s been together for only a short period of time, they have managed to reach a level of tightness rarely reached by bands who have not been touring for the better part of a decade and up.

“Banded Blue,” the band’s first full-length recording, is an impressive achievement that shows not a sign of sophomore-slump potential. The compositions are of very high quality – the lyrics are intelligible, accessible, and well-sung. Best of all, the songs are full-band efforts in which each instrument shines in its own right.

If this is merely the beginning, it is safe to say that the end will go out with the kind of bang that only quality rock musicians can produce.

http://www.modernhumorist.com

‘When a site proclaims itself to be humorous, it is a good guarantee that it is not. It is only when people fail at achieving their intended goal that they generally feel the need to point out their intentions. Surprisingly, this is not the case with Modern Humorist. The site is both up with the times and quite funny.

You may wonder, is this site funny – funny like a clown? Will it amuse you?

Actually, yes it will.

There is more than enough content on this site to allow you to waste weeks of valuable work time, or to fatally procrastinate before finals. There’s lots of good material for you to forward to all of your friends, filling up their inboxes so they can’t receive any important mail, jerk.

This site has been up for a matter of years now and there is a better-than-even chance that, if you are as big a loser as we are here at the Daily, you’ve probably scoured the Internet for all of its good content, including Modern Humorist.

You may be well versed in the ways of “Harry Potter in the Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.” It’s possible that you’ve sent the (mock) R. Kelly Sex Tape to everyone in your Address Book, including accidentally sending it to your parents. Also, you may love laughing aloud to the entire subsection dedicated to George Bush or the entire casebook of Encyclopedia Brown mysteries.

Or, maybe you haven’t.

It’s okay. No, no, no. Don’t feel like a loser just because you’ve never heard of this site before. We’re sure that’s not the reason none of your “friends” hang out with you anymore. It’s because of your breath. Oops.

That’s the word on the street, anyway.

So, loser, once you’re done with that pity party, head on over to ModernHumorist.com and get in the know. There might still be a chance for you yet.

the transient

‘Are you an audiophile? Do you love rare treasures that tend to slip through the cracks?

If so, “The Transient” may be the best purchase – or illegal download – of the year.

David Dondero is not a fa?ade. He is, by far, the real thing. As possibly the first true singer/songwriter – not just the clich/d fabrication – in years, he lives for his music and in his car. He travels as he may and has called nearly every state in this country home. Sounds a little like Woody Guthrie, doesn’t it?

It kind of is. His music is his passion and he does it under the cover of obscurity. Dondero is an amazing songwriter with a unique voice that inspired Bright Eyes boy wonder Conor Oberst to feel comfortable with his own singing. As a matter of fact, Oberst sings backup on this album.

On “The Transient,” the voice matches the guitar playing: heavily reverbed and bright with a trebly twang.

An obvious comparison of the record’s course can be made to the path of a setting sun. It starts warm and fierce, and virtually omnipresent. Each passing track steps a little further back into darkness, moves a little slower. By “Song for the Civil Engineer,” the final track, it disappears as a whimper, leaving the listener in a silent and peaceful state.

As the feeling of the album changes towards the second half of “The Transient,” a title Dondero has bestowed upon himself, his voice becomes less reminiscent of Oberst and more like Counting Crows front man Adam Duritz.

Expect lots of songs about drinking, drugs and doing time. Thirty years from now, you can also expect your kids or grandkids favorite folk/activist bands to be covering Dondero songs as tribute to a relatively unrecognized but extremely important figure in Americana history.

for the love of music

‘First of all, let’s discuss the cover of this album. It’s a cute pale blue with two animated people on it. Ina text balloon a little girl holding a dolly says, “Hook me up!” and a taller boy with a briefcase remarks, “I am Shacho!”

Sound nonsensical? You’re right. Grasping the true meaning of this requires digging much deeper than the surface.

This picture originated in Japan a few years ago. A friend of Mike Park’s quickly sketched out this drawing in what he claimed to be a matter of seconds. He was so impressed with the work that he hung it on the wall of his parents’ garage, home of Asian Man Records. The drawing remains in the same place today.

So, Park asked her to redraw the two people again so that he could use it as his album cover. Gladly, she agreed. This time, though, she added the text bubbles. The girl’s statement may be some sort of inside joke but, as far as Park cared to share, he had no insight on its meaning. Shacho, on the other hand, was a nickname given to him by some friends.

Friendship and love: the two most prominently and still somewhat subliminally displayed emotions on this site. They are also the two motivations in Park’s life and his music. He lives it in his everyday life and sings about it in his songs.

In a sense, they have merged to form something beautiful in these man-and-guitar tunes. As emo – gasp! – as it may sound, Park is simply a man with a good heart placed firmly on his sleeve.

Open your eyes. Open your heart. Open your mind. These are the three prerequisites to fully enjoying “For the Love of Music.”

Of course, there is much more than a message of positive reinforcement on this album. There are 11 solid sing-along quality tracks that have more of a stripped-down-punk-rock feel than a singer-songwriter air to them. Sometimes, though, it’s more about the message than the music but Park brings both to the table.

Prima volta

‘It could’ve been simple for Cedric Bixler-Zavala and Omar Rodriguez-Lopez. Their fan base was loyal and, like any seminal band of the past decade, it reached its peak only after the breakup of At the Drive-In.

Oh, things could certainly have been easy. Bixler and Rodriguez knew the formula for success and it worked to a tee with their previous band. These El Paso boys had no intention of keeping things easy, though. Their music, like the story of their lives was, was destined to remain in constant struggle and hardship to remain real.

When The Mars Volta formed, they didn’t just take a step or two away from the At the Drive-In sound. They were too ambitious or stubborn to do so. They dug deep into their roots and what they pulled out was leaps and bounds away from where they started.

This approach to a new band may sound tedious and self-defeating to some. Depending on how you look at it, it may even be a bit reminiscent of Dostoevsky’s “The Underground Man.” Nothing could be further from the truth for Bixler and Rodriguez though.

“Omar and I have always had an interest in writing music that sounded like this,” began vocalist Cedric Bixler-Zavala. “It’s an itch that we’ve needed to scratch for a long time. Actually, we’ve lied to the press about it for years, predicting this next big sound we would come out with but each passing (At the Drive-In) record just sounded like ‘In Casino/Out’ with better production.”

The Mars Volta makes it a point to call their new Latin-, salsa-, and funk-influenced music progressive but they hesitate to define it as prog rock. They believe all music should be progressive and move forward. That is the pivotal point upon which this band is built and it appears that the fans seem to be rather accepting of the influx of euphonious metamorphoses.

“It’s been about three or four years already (since At the Drive-In broke up) and people seem to understand that it’s a different band,” continued Bixler. “We live in the savvy world of the Internet and online chat rooms. So people are usually pretty up to date with changes.”

One change that most likely made fans enthusiastic was the addition of Flea to the lineup for the band’s freshman offering, “De-Loused in the Comatorium.” According to Bixler, he “is a fan of the band and we needed someone at the last minute that could play the kind of style we wanted for the album.”

Not every change in the band has been positive, though. On May 25, band member Jeremy Ward was found dead. He was the band’s sound manipulator, a member of Defacto, and a longtime friend of ATDI. While Bixler chose not to comment on how Ward died, he mentioned that it was hard for the band to deal with the loss.

“It was sad to lose Jeremy. As stereotypical as a ‘rock band thing’ it is to say, just playing shows is what helps the most. It’s a cathartic experience for us. There’s no other way to deal with it.”

One way that they have traditionally dealt with death is to write about it. The ATDI penned song, “Embroglio,” is a dedication to Julio Venegas, a close friend of the band that committed suicide. The Mars Volta felt that this wasn’t enough of a tribute to Venegas, though. Therefore, they decided to dedicate “De-Loused” to him.

Venegas took his life while ATDI was in the studio in 1996. His loss is something that they still deal with today.

“In short, the record was a gift from us to him. He took his life six or so years ago and in the past we’ve only had small slices of cake to give him and we felt we needed to give him something bigger. So we put together a fictionalized story that utilizes bits and pieces from his life and, in our minds, he can be the only true critic of this album.”

While no reasons were stated as to why Venegas chose to abruptly end his life, it appears that El Paso, often referred to as “Hell Paso,” is a difficult place to grow up if you do not fit into their cultural archetype.

“El Paso is a really violent place to live. I moved out of there out of fear of getting beat up by everyday people. I’m glad my dad moved me out of the Bay Area when I was younger because living in El Paso cultured me but it’s different now. When you grow up, you realize there are regular rednecks and Mexican rednecks.”

El Paso, home of the closed-minded and the discriminatory. A five-minute walk from Bixler’s childhood home will take you to a town where “you can literally get away with murder.” To know that such areas exist is a scary and eye-opening revelation. The threat of forced assimilation or discrimination is a difficult prospect, but to live by a town where you fear for your own life on a regular basis must be a concept that is nearly impossible to come to terms with. Worse yet is to know that you do not have the support of your own people.

“It’s hard to be Hispanic and not feel that you’re accepted by your own people because of the way you dress, what you say, the way you speak, your sexual orientation, or anything like that. I think, if anything, that has always had an effect on the way I write lyrically. I don’t promote violence but the lyrics will always have a violent feel to it because it’s what I saw growing up.”

Ironically, while the band fights because they are different in the real world, they fight because their fans act like them in concert.

“We used to get football face-painter fans at At the Drive-In shows who would think it was cute to come to the shows with Afro wigs on. We’d spend half an hour before the shows pulling wigs off people and telling them to listen to the music. That was the downfall of bands like the Sex Pistols. People weren’t listening to the music or the message. They were just dressing like the band.”

Apparently, it’s a hard-knock life for more than just Jay-Z and Shirley Temple. Amidst years of independent and somewhat commercial success, the music still seems to be slipping through the cracks. It is the way that Bixler and Rodriguez look that causes them such strife. To top it off, their “style” is not a function of being fashionable. Their Afros grow as grooming dissipates during the grueling weeks on a tour bus. One can only assume that the rail-thin look is also a result of being overworked and underfed. Offstage, they suffer discrimination over factors they cannot control.

“People think that it’s fun on tour but it’s not. I don’t leave my hotel room. Maybe it’s karma for the way I was as a teenager but you always seem to get some smart-ass wanting to fight you because you look different.”

Keep in mind, though, the torment Irie Jones suffered in Zadie Smith’s “White Teeth” when she cut off her Afro. Although she was tortured by it and assumed that it made her a target for ridicule, she discovered just how much people thought it made her beautiful and distinct. It’s a classic Catch-22. Sometimes, Cedric, you never can win.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com

‘Roadside America is kind of like a cross between a trashy, giant garage sale and a giant, trashy virtual scrapbook.

“Dat dere is Billy Joe in the Muffler Man head. Dat dere is Dave next to Amos the giant Amish statue at Zinn’s Diner. Damn, dose Amish are a hoot!”

Okay, maybe not like that. Or, not entirely like that. It’s just too difficult to not poke fun at something… especially Lancaster, PA. Home to many teenage Amish drug lords. Seriously, they exist. They get good stuff, too.

Roadside America is kind of like the working man’s travel agent. It’s a guide to some of the most offbeat and interesting sites in the States. It’s not the stuff that you’d see in expensive trip guides. It’s the stuff you’d pass by on a road trip and think, “Hmmm – that’s weird.” It’s the kind of site that, growing up, you’d rather have seen than the lame-ass places your parents picked out.

Screw culture, this is what America is about.

Use Roger. He’ll assist you. He’s the “only wooden search engine” on the Net. You can use him to search by attraction, description, town or state/province. He’ll help you find the oddest and quirkiest stuff in your hometown or the town you may be visiting on vacation.

Sadly, there are not many interesting or creepy sites in Boulder. The only link that turned up was info on “America’s Favorite Cannibal,” Alfred Packer. Yes, it mentions the Grill at CU.

Mmmm, tastes like chicken.

If you search Denver, a good many results will turn up. That’s the way it goes. Boulder’s normal and Denver’s weird (? – ed.).

So, use this site to find out about the King of the Toilet Seat arts or Knight’s Spider Web Farm and all sorts of other freaky shit on here.

file under black

‘Jason Shevchuk has picked up an axe to add to his duties as the songwriter of the relatively new punk band None More Black. As front man of his former band, Kid Dynamite, he needed worry about nothing more than a matter of lyric and melody writing, and not dropping the microphone in concert.

Perhaps this short list of responsibilities bored him. He soon left Kid with the intent of taking a break from the “business.” It didn’t take long for him to get sucked back in, though. He soon decided to write songs on guitar in his spare time. His roommate, conveniently a bassist, agreed to assist in the process. Or, add his “spices,” as Shevchuk refers to the bass parts.

Soon, they were in touring shape and his songwriting became uncontrollable. He can’t stop. Although this album only came out a few months ago, he has already written more than enough songs for the next None More Black album.

“File Under Black,” a good mixture of punk, pop, and media-related references – such as the band’s name, a homage to Spinal Tap. It is a worthy show of his influences in his search for the sublime, as well as an accurate mark of his relentless creativity.

The record also shows that he and Paint it Black’s Dr. Dan Yemin (both of Kid Dynamite) are heading in two different directions. The fact that they parted ways musically, but still remain friends, has resulted in the creation of two bands worth their weight instead of one. The math is as simple as my analogy is stupid.