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http://www.javanoid.com

‘It finally happened. I just flaked.

The crew of helper monkeys has been on vacation, leaving me fully in charge of doing my job. Seriously, did they accept that it would get done? That’s what assistants and interns are for: to do the job someone else is getting paid for.

Determined to find the most interesting site on the web, I sat at my computer with a pot of coffee and a pack of cigarettes. Now seemed like a good time to pick up smoking.

I worked more diligently than I ever have in my entire life. Fifteen minutes later, I needed to get some dinner.

On my walk to BoLoDo (Boulder’s Lower Downtown), I ran into a friend whom I have not seen since my move to Colorado. He told me that he was going to show me the secret of being a true Boulderite. He told me he was going to “smoke me out.”

Unsure of exactly what he meant, and never wanting to be the outsider, I willingly obliged. Since then, I’ve been too distracted to work because I have been trying to convince the 7-11 guy to deliver – and playing Javanoid.

Javanoid is a free Java version of the video game classic, Arkanoid. It is Web-based and does not need to be downloaded. The Javanoid site also has Radial Pong, Tetris, and Javanoid 2. The original game has been too addictive to leave for long, though. So, the rest of the games have been barely tested. From the looks of it, though, Tetris was pretty standard but Radial Pong was also an addictive game.

For those of you who don’t remember Arkanoid, the concept is simple. You control the tube-shaped paddle at the bottom of the screen by moving it left and right towards the ball. You hit the ball into the bricks. Once all the bricks have disappeared, you go to the next level. It must have taken years for the gaming industry to perfect that concept.

It’s a simple game that is fun to play. There are no intense challenges to be expected, only fun games to play at work that are easy to hide when your boss comes up behind you. Javanoid is a good way to pass the time and use up those lazy hours of slow-moving summer days.

It’s what I’m doing instead of work, anyway.

r.i.p.

‘A live album: either a fitting final farewell/tribute to a great band or a self-serving final shot from self-important people.

Murder City Devils have blurred these lines of distinction with the release of “R.I.P.,” a live recording from their final show as a band at Seattle’s Showbox Theater.

Singer Spencer Moody howls, maybe with the intent of sounding like an animal, like a devil even, but it comes off more like Steve Buscemi in “The Wedding Singer.” That’s all that needs to be said about that matter.

Okay, that’s a low blow. MCD was a good band with an incredible stage presence that lives on through a dark and disparaging legacy reincarnated in the form of Derek Fudesco’s bass work in Pretty Girls Make Graves, the band that is said to have put the final nail in the coffin. As a sidebar, PGMG’s lead singer Andrea Zollo was originally in a short-lived band with Fudesco and Moody, and other MCD members called The Hookers.

After the breakup of the Devils, Moody and Co. went on to form Dead Low Tide. Less than a year later, the plug was pulled on that venture. The pleasant aesthetic themes and imagery just keep reoccurring, don’t they?

That’s enough of a history lesson for now, though. Gather around boys and girls, it’s personal story time.

I was fortunate enough to see the Murder City Devils on what would be one of their last tours. They played with At the Drive-In, who was also on the verge of breakup. Not knowing both of these seminal bands were soon to meet their demise, I showed up late to Philadelphia’s Theater of the Living Arts. As I walked up to the door, a fight was being broken up that involved an indistinguishable and Afroed member of At the Drive-In (either Cedric or Omar) and a bouncer. Apparently, the bouncer refused to let the puffy-haired musician through the door and he called him a derogative term in reference to what the bouncer believed to be this person’s sexual preference. Then he nailed him square in the face. Intense, to say the least.

About twenty minutes later, MCD took the stage and Mr. Moody spent most of the time on stage lecturing against stereotyping, homophobia, and hate speech. While this was well intentioned, every word that came out of his mouth, both spoken and sung, was slurred beyond recognition. It was hard to distinguish one syllable from the next, let alone what was being said.

The point of this is that Spencer Moody slurs. He doesn’t sing necessarily. Rather, he drones listlessly from song to song, repeating melody upon melody. Granted, on the recording of the final MCD show, he is noticeably more sober and the words are distinguishable, but the vocal parts at points seem downright lazy.

The band is artsy, they are gory, they are talented and show off their skills. It might as well be the “Rocky Horror Picture Show” live and without Meatloaf. It’s good and, despite any personal reservations about the Devils, it holds its own.

It’s a shame that the shelf life of bands is so short and the attention spans of fans constantly dwindling. After five years and two albums, the band was finally able to swim with ease and not just tread water. Drowned and gone, the only thing they have that’s new to prove they existed and left their mark is a tape of their last shows.

“R.I.P.” is a good novelty item to keep around, just like the countless other final live show record releases from various bands. Although on the edge of having self-indulgent motives, this album is still a good tribute to another band gone but not forgotten.

who will survive, and what will be left of them?

‘So, the devil comes to a Midwestern town where he gets drunk in a local bar and talks a good deal of shit. Upon exiting the bar, an area man shoots him in the back. Being Beelzebub, he doesn’t die but he does get kind of pissed.

“Damn, I’m the devil,” he thinks. “I don’t have to put up with this.”

He seeks his revenge in stereotypical devil fashion: apocalypse, plagues and murders. That bastard. Needless to say, the people try to fight back and fend off their extinction. The tension mounts as the story progresses. Will man defeat evil incarnate? Or will they survive? And, if they do, what will be left of them?

Don’t worry, the surprise won’t be ruined for you, but I will tell you that those who remain, in a non-traditional move when faced with the imminent possibility of death, turn to whiskey before God. Awesome.

It’s captivating and entrancing, a story built upon the ancient theme of good versus evil. That’s what helps to define this band’s sophomore album – but the first under the name Murder By Death – as a successful concept album. Add on top of that the fact that there is a cellist in the band and the comparisons to Cursive will be unending.

The fact of the matter is that they don’t sound anything like Cursive. What they sound like is hard to pin down. The easiest thing to find parallels for is frontman Adam Turla’s voice. It is very versatile and runs the gamut of stylistic comparisons from Eddie Vedder to Neil Young to David Dondero. These rough-edged vocalists are great musicians to emulate for the music that Murder By Death produces. The piano and cello fills out the already huge sound and gives it a haunting, chilling edge – the perfect score for a tale of apocalypse.

so much staying alive and lovelessness

‘Critiquing a Kinsella is a daunting task. It is hard to gauge any project Tim or Mike may be working on without putting it up against the countless other bands that they have been involved in. There is so much history there that is impossible to ignore.

The brothers? roots in the seminal yet underappreciated band Cap?n Jazz could take volumes of writing just to be put in the correct perspective; not to mention the fact that the offshoots of this band are so far widespread that the Kinsella?s musical lineage makes Kevin Bacon look like a cloistered monk.

This Joan of Arc album alone was worked on by a collapsed outline of numerous different side projects.

Yes, writing about indie rock icons the Kinsellas to a general audience is comparable to describe Elvis and his impact on. The mere attempt to encapsulate the whole history is impossible.

So, here is the briefest version necessary to appreciate this album: The Chicago based noise/art rock band Cap?n Jazz was light years ahead of its time. Each member of the group grew so quickly that the interests diversified in such clashing fashions, that it made sense to dissolve the group and pursue other musical ventures. The most popular of the bands birthed from Cap?n Jazz was The Promise Ring. The longest lasting is Joan of Arc.

A few years ago, the members of Cap?n Jazz reformed as The Owls. The Owls were clean cut and more refined. They took the raw talent of their adolescent project and manifested it into something so complex and intricate that, regardless of personal musical tastes, it garnered immense respect from the underground scene.

Joan of Arc is that missing link between the youthful and boisterous Cap?n Jazz and the mature and sophisticated The Owls. Since Joan of Arc is more active, it has surpassed those levels of maturity and sophistication which it only seemed to link before ?So Much Staying Alive??

Like The Owls, the amount of talent, thought, and intricacy that has gone into the song-writing process for JOA can only be respected. Think of the album as Miles Davis?s ?Bitches Brew? or ?Birth of the Cool? may be thought. It may be over your head, but you learn to trust artists like the Kinsellas, as Miles Davis. They know what they are doing, long before anyone else gets it.

long knives drawn

‘With the fourth full-length Rainer Maria release on hand, the band continues to trudge forward in an ever-evolving sound that continues to show all of the ingenuities and poignancies of all of their previous releases.

Now that the band is moving quickly from amateur to master?s status, especially after the highly acclaimed ?A Better Version of Me? release, they are redefining the sound of the band. The instrumental sect of the album is still the noticeable Rainer Maria sound. It is the vocal division that continues to refine itself. The most noticeable change is the minimal existence of Kyle Fischer?s voice. To some it has always been grating and caused track skipping on previous releases. To those who have become accustomed to it, it is a sonic pleasure worthy of that particular track?s repetition.

Kyle has taken two steps back for this album, though. His guitar playing peaked in ?A Better Version of Me? and remains constant for this record. His presence is there, as a place holder, represented but without noticeable worth.

Caithlin De Marrais? voice has fully claimed the aural forefront as her own and Kyle has left the claim unchallenged. Caithlin has reached a level of comfort unprecedented in earlier attempts which allows her to belt out melodies that add to the band?s vitality. Like her bass playing, her vocal stylings continue to soar to new heights.

Being a female-lead band still keeps Rainer Maria in the minority of the indie rock scene. Although, sound-alikes such as Mates of State and the pop explosion of ?edgier? bands such as the Donnas creates more common ground for them  to walk upon. This has never been an issue for RM, who has always found stability in forging their own path and the improvement in De Marrais? voice best exemplifies the band?s innovative attitude.

So, what has changed within Rainer Maria to provide a new edge for the band?s most recent release? Plain and simple, the lyrics are now in the dxefxbfxbdnouement stage of their soap-operatic fashioned intensity. Clearly, one of the most appealing factors of RM is the oh so lofty love relationship between Kyle and Caithlin. The album?s title alone foreshadows the post-breakup stages their relationship seems to be going through.

The opening track, ?Mystery and Misery? opens up with the lines ?Misrepresented, initially you looked like you?d looked like you?d been sainted but now I?m acquainted with your dark eyes and dirty mind.?  That?s about as optimistic as their love story gets. Lines like the title track?s ?Let?s get over each other so that we can fall in love again,? and ?If indeed this was like our first marriage than you and I together can be like divorcees,? from ?Situation: Relation,? the album?s closer, only put the nail in the coffin for any more new uplifting songs you can hope to hold your significant other?s hand to during a live concert.

http://www.defendkobe.com

‘Every week I find myself saying, “This is the most ludicrous site I’ve ever seen in my life,” but, every week, I prove myself wrong.

DefendKobe.com is beyond description. Who are we defending Kobe against? Maybe, it’s his bad judgement. But better yet, shouldn’t we be fending him off other women?

Okay, so the site is not legally affiliated with Kobe, the Lakers, or the NBA but it does claim that they are “the only site sending money to Kobe’s legal team.”

If you support this cause, you’re a damned fool. He’s got more money than any one man whose highest level of education is high school ever should. What does he need our money for?

Because “we’re fans and we want to do something!” according to the site.

I want him to roast in hell if he’s guilty of the crime of which he’s accused. Where can I buy a T-shirt that will go towards that cause?

Even if he didn’t rape that woman, he’s got a wife and a baby at home. I don’t care how famous you are, being intimate with another woman while your wife is nurturing your child is about the most immoral thing you can do, next to sticking your dude in the kid.

The purpose of the site is to sell shirts. There are three shirts that come in an unnamed style or in “girly stuff” style, whatever that means. The shirts vaguely resemble a jersey and they prominently display Kobe’s number on them. The three slogans you have to choose from are “In O Cent,” “Not Guilty,” or “Kobe Libre” which means “Free Kobe.” This last one is a little premature to say the least, as Kobe hasn’t been convicted of anything yet much less taken into permanent custody. These shirts wouldn’t be worth buying even if one said “Infidel.”

People will attempt to make money off of anything and the fact that someone considered making this webpage for sucker diehard fans that don’t want to see poor little helpless Kobe Bryant be victimized by the justice system.

At this point, it’s hard to tell who the sucker is anymore.

Getting in the Know

‘Democracy begins at home. Equality begins at home. So does regime change, peace, etc. There are a million slogans that offer the insight that home is more than just where the heart is. It’s the first place you need to look in order to properly and most effectively better a situation.

One day, while sitting around their office before the turn of the year, Soda Jerk’s Mike Barsch and Ben Davis decided this was a model that they could apply to their concerts. They needed to make better use of untapped musical talent in Colorado. This was their New Year’s resolution – to feature some of Colorado’s best musicians in their new monthly “Bands You Need To Know” series.

“There a lot of really great bands that don’t really get the recognition that they need,” began Soda Jerk’s Ben Davis. “There are only five or six groups that have been really vocal in this scene. Very few bands have been able to successfully market themselves to concert promoters. So, I think a lot of great undiscovered bands are going to show up as a result of this series.”

To strengthen this venture, Soda Jerk has teamed up with Radio 1190, the best conduit for Colorado-area acts. The show will be co-presented between the Bands You Need To Know and Radio 1190’s Local Shakedown series. Together, the two forces hope to be unstoppable. At the very least, they should be successful. They have enough pooled resources to promote a majority of the bands in Boulder, Denver and Colorado Springs.

“They’re really throwing their support behind these shows,” said Soda Jerk’s Mike Barsch, speaking of Radio 1190’s Local Shakedown. “They are playing the CDs of the featured bands and are doing ticket giveaways for us. We really appreciate their help.”

Barsch and Davis will have creative control over the acts picked for each month’s concert. Radio 1190 will play more of a supporting role, helping Soda Jerk out in whatever way they can. An open dialogue will exist between the two promoters, and the radio station’s input is welcomed. Depending upon the genre of a particular month’s lineup, they anticipate requesting the occasional suggestion from 1190 but, for the most part, finding talent in the area should not be difficult for them.

“We want to do something for the scene,” said Davis. “A lot of promoters do local shows. We just felt that it needs to be done differently. More of an emphasis must be put on the bands. There’s a lot that this city has to offer. There’s a lot this state has to offer.”

Barsch furthered this sentiment.

“The real idea behind it all is to take the local show concept to a whole different level,” he said. “It’s not just a local band show. It’s an event. They’re hand-picked bands that we feel, well, you need to know about.”

To them, this event will be no different than a festival like South By Southwest. It’s a packed lineup featuring a familiar band or two but, for the most part, the point is to get exposed to new music.

That is the key that will help Bands You Need To Know succeed and the Boulder/Denver scene flourish. People will come for bands like Love Me Destroyer, Drag the River or Planes Mistaken for Stars. In the process, they will be exposed to a handful of other bands they would never have known. As Davis described it, “the scene will keep leapfrogging.” One band will get exposure because of another and, in turn, that band will expose other bands and so on. It’s the indie-rock model being applied to the Colorado scene. Simple, brilliant. Simply brilliant.

Ideally, this model will spill over into the national shows that come through the region. Davis hopes that some of the bands discovered through this series will be able to make it onto big-name billings like Thursday or Thrice so that they have more potential to work their way onto a touring bill.

This could be a best-case scenario. As Barsch admits, the plague of Colorado bands is that very few independent acts have been able to make it out of the region. The potential is there with Bands You Need To Know. It’s only a matter of time and hope before it all materializes.

“We have all the confidence in the world about all the bands we’re booking,” said Barsch. “Otherwise we wouldn’t do it.”

suicide notes and butterfly kisses

‘Another quality release from Chicago’s finest… Victory Records that is.

There are certain labels that you can always expect the same consistency from. G7 will always put out something political, Jade Tree will have high quality East Coast indie rock, and Victory Records won’t take any shit. They only release the best hardcore west of New York City.

Their bands coalesce a little bit better. They are upfront, organized, and punk as fuck. Atreyu is no exception to this rule. The title of the album itself does a good job of pointing out the balance of delicate and rough sides to this album. It’s got a good deal of variety to it and it heads in all the right directions at all the right places.

Of course, it’s easy to sit on the fence and be hypocritical with hardcore but some albums are undeniably good. “Suicide Notes” is one those albums. It’s equally dark and depressing as well as bright and inspiring. It works on many levels. For a first full-length, it shows promise both for the band and for the hardcore scene itself.

The name doesn’t seem to fit the band, though. The reference to “The Never Ending Story” is nice but it’s not the kind of music you’d think of when you picture a big fluffy animal flying through the air. That being said and superfluous, “Suicide Notes” is a good album.

http://www.poprocksandcoke.com

‘Straight from the nation’s taint – Delanco, NJ – one enthusiastic gamer has unearthed a world of relics from the forgotten Nintendo Generation. This Web site provides a humorous and often accurate cross-section of old teen pop-culture animated icons, video games and cartoon characters.

Most importantly, the site provides “Perverted Moments in Video Games” and “More Perverted Moments in Video Games.” Now, you can find out what really happens when “Zelda”‘s star, Link, gets “magic” from the old woman’s house. In addition, you can view a screen shot from the Japanese game, “Kid Niki 3,” where a little pasty male statue shoots something at you from his nude lower extremities. Let’s just say that if it wasn’t an 8-bit graphic, it would be rated X. Yummy.

This site is contains many interesting essays, with a good deal of screen captures to boot. The essays border on nostalgic blogging, which gives the site a personal touch to it. Of course, the age range of people who could appreciate this site is slim – but even if you don’t make that cut, you can still enjoy the tongue-in cheek cynicism.

Another essay of note covers “The Other ‘Crossroads’ Movie,” which starred Ralph Macchio. Poprocks & Coke even includes a Cliff’s-Notes-sort-of-version to the movie, a brief dialogue between the main characters through the climax of the story. This way, people can still experience the essence of the movie without the horrific ordeal of having to actually sit through it. At the bottom of that page, there is also a short movie loop that captures the highlights – or, should we say, some of Britney Spears’s more “physical talents” – from the more recent film of that title.

Some of the other main features to this site include a startling expose on “The Burger King Kids Club Gang,” “The Face of Dr. Claw… Revealed” and “Attack of the Disney Sequels.”

Sure, the theme of the page is a little limited, but if you’re looking for a good laugh at the California Raisins, this is the place to go.

neon golden

‘When considering the options, the most unlikely combination of musical styles might be something like this: mid-20th century folk, electronica, free jazz, and pop. Leave it to the German geniuses of The Notwist to make this seemingly sour succession sound simply astounding. Not only do they do it well, but they make you wonder why people have not been doing this for years.

Such a layering of distinct levels of sound together may seem like something that Reggie and the Full Effect might do as a joke on some obscure comp somewhere. This is no joke, though. The Notwist is as real as it gets.

The Notwist is like that kid on campus whose name is known by all students and faculty alike. It can permeate through even the thickest skin of all musical crowds and make friends. No matter how diverse a scene, this record fits in and makes everyone feel at home, no matter if it is a group of hardcore kids, the transient club goers, industrial crowd (do they still exist?), or the pop loving younger generations.

“Neon Golden” is a record akin with Sigur Ros’s “( )” and the Smashing Pumpkin’s pop side of “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness” (ie. “1979,” “Thirty-Three”).  At the same time, it sounds like some of the rawest, oldest, Woodie Guthrie tracks recorded,

As Michal McKean’s character, David St.Hubbins, said in Spinal Tap, “It is such a fine line between stupid and clever.” Although said in jest, this statement does have some validity to it. Clever may just be a matter of fine tuning that which is stupid. Rather, something potentially clever may come off as stupid if not fine-tuned. This record is a delicate balance of numerous styles. It comes off as very clever. Although, if any of these styles dominated over the other, even a slight bit, “Neon Golden” would be a horrible concept album.

Fortunately, the levels are set correctly. The record is a brilliant layering of textures, where each texture shines through in its own rite.

This is the magnum opus of a band that has been around for almost 14 years now, surviving most of its contemporaries. Starting as a progressive/post-hardcore/heavy metal band in 1989 The Notwist has slowly progressed to the level of being musical savants. In addition, The Notwist has generated numerous side-projects, and a continuous flow of bastard musical children whose lineage it is difficult to trace (including work the band did on parts of Bjork’s “Vespertine”).

A closed-minded listen might put this band in the category of art-rock but nothing could be further from the truth at this stage of the game. “Neon Golden” is a fluid dream of musical landscapes that make Georgia O’Keefe’s rendering of transcendent beauty mere childsplay.