Tag: #Import 2025-04-25 15:23

http://www.area29.com/sfw-porn

‘This is a novel concept that, since we have such short attention spans here, turns to BORING way too quickly. Then again, we shouldn’t make judgment calls. That’s not our place.

Ahem. Yeah.

So this is porn that is safe for work, as the name suggests. We’ll be quick in our description of it because it’ll waste less time and we can all get on (off?) to the real porn.

If you haven’t figured it out already, the SFWP site is packed with photos that emulate the contents of a pornographic web page in a PG-13 fashion.

In other words, it’s a bunch of people pretending to hump with their clothes on. Get it yet?

It’s funny at first; “at first” being the operative words.

Actually, the photos are done in an artful manner, quite unlike real porn pictures… as we are told. It’s difficult to say whether these pictures should be jeered at or framed and hung on a wall. Probably not the latter; that’d be a little odd, unless you are into that sort of thing. In which case, we say go for it.

Oh, one thing that should probably be mentioned is that a few links to real porn sites exist on this site. We’re not condoning them and aren’t saying you should click on them (wink, wink). So, don’t jump down our throats if a big pair of boobies or worse pops up on your screen. If you want to thank us for that though, consider yourself welcome.

In summary, take about 15 seconds out of your day to check out Safe for Work Porn and get a quick chuckle. Spending any more time than that on the site, just like making your way to the end of this article, is laborious and not worth the effort.

A live sonic boom

‘Ester Drang has managed to grow out of the rock music wasteland that is Oklahoma and carve their niche into the national scene.

“It’s the Flaming Lips, Starlight Mints, and the Aquaducts (in Oklahoma),” began the band’s musical guru, James McAllister. “There are other bands here but this is as close as you’ll come to a scene. Outside of that, it’s all churches and Oral Roberts University.”

This drawback aside, Drang continues to strive forward, writing music for musicians. Sonically dense and multileveled, the web of otherwise nebulous parts weave together to create endless facets of sound that could make Pink Floyd blush. On record, namely with the release of their Jade Tree debut, “Infinite Keys,” it hits right on the mark. Live, though, this creates difficulties.

“We use technology to our advantage. Anything we can play live, we play. The rest we throw on a track. People are coming to see us live so we try to do most of it ourselves to make it as interesting as possible.”

transatlanticism

‘2003 has become the year of Death Cab for Cutie. It was virtually impossible to purchase any records this year without hearing the DCfC effect. If they weren’t producing it, or contributing parts, they were writing music for side projects that are bound, in one form or another, to reach the top of many top 10 of 2003 lists by the end of the year.

DCfC members Chris Walla and Ben Gibbard have left their mark as two of the busiest musicians in the industry. Not only has Walla served as the six-string for many bands, but he is also one of indie rock’s most noted producers. Gibbard’s most fruitful effort of the year has been his collaboration with Dntel’s Jimmy Tamborello on The Postal Service. Their 2003 CD “Give Up” is bound to be one of the year’s best releases.

As a result of all of their side work, the members of DCfC have returned to the recording studio to record “Transatlanticism” as a much wiser, more mature and more experienced group of musicians. They are world-wise and it shows. The tempo is turned down a notch, and there is little aggression behind the record. The songs are, for lack of a more descriptive word, cool. They know their place and have nothing to prove that is beyond their reach.

Death Cab for Cutie is a band content with its sound, fully aware that the members have more than enough individual creative outlets. In essence, they have networked the indie rock community in pursuit of their different passions and interests.

A few of the guitar progressions and vocal melodies have been influenced by music they have created outside of DCfC. This, somehow, does not hinder the band. It just shows that they have done it all and can use similar parts in very different-sounding songs.

With “Transatlanticism,” the members of Death Cab know what they want and are capable of doing it all.

in reverie

‘Remember when Weezer released “Pinkerton” and all the indie rock kids ate it up? For that point in time, that was the best damned record ever.

Then they released “The Green Album” and openly admitted to considering “Pinkerton” to be the band’s bastard child, a complete mistake. It felt as though the person you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with just dumped your sorry ass clear out of the blue. To use the words of Ralph Wiggam, it even tasted “like burning.”

Chances are, somewhere in your record collection, you could also find a copy of records like “Can’t Slow Down” or “Through Being Cool.” These were more than respectable indie records that were destined to catch on with someone high up in some lofty major-label office.

Eventually, it did. Well, it did for bands like Saves the Day, anyway. Sound-a-likes Newfound Glory, et al. enjoyed MTV stardom and used their 15 minutes of fame as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, the indie crowd still held respect for Saves the Day as a good band that had a good reputation for putting out above-average records.

Then came “Stay What You Are.” It took the band’s sound and mixed it with big-budget studio production techniques. It made an otherwise punk album sound pretty pop. “At Your Funeral” caught on, and it sort of became a guilty pleasure. You wanted to dislike the band, but the record was still decent enough to let it slide.

Well, Saves the Day finally provides you with a good reason to dislike them. It’s called “In Reverie,” and it hit the shelves last week. This album is like Weezer’s “The Green Album.” It’s created for a new type of fan, the ones who sing along to commercial soundtrack music. Or, if you want to be blunt about it, the ones who like shit.

The only explanation for this type of action has to be that they were trying to distinguish themselves from their former sound, which found itself all over the radios and televisions of teenage schoolgirls everywhere. It would be a shame if they felt forced to change in order to respect themselves. It would be even more of a shame they chose this atrocious ’70s pop sound to give themselves clarity.

My only plea to the band is not to let major labels get the best of you. You did what you did well. Why change that?

The only thing people will be in a reverie about is what you used to sound like. Heed your own advice and stay true to what you really are.

all your summer songs

‘By creating something retro, a piece of art, by definition, cannot be edgy. Therefore, is it immediately doomed to be dull?

This is a question that “Saturday Looks Good to Me” wrestles with throughout the entire play of “All Your Summer Songs.”

Featuring a gross ensemble of players, including the Pharmacists’ better half Ted Leo, among others, Saturday has a deep well of resources from which to draw. They draw a good deal of the well’s content in an attempt to diversify the album’s sound. One of the negative side effects was the creation of disunity in production. The opening and untitled track is instrumentally all over the place and is too loose and ominous for an introductory piece.

Fortunately, Fred Thomas, Saturday’s mastermind, pulls the songs up by the bootstraps for most of the remaining pieces and by the intro to the eighth track, “No Good With Sonnets,” your interest is piqued.

By that point, upon first listen, the realization comes that the formula for all of these songs is lifted directly off oldies stations and AM radio. It’s music for your parents to reminisce to and, in that context, it does a good job. There are no deep meanings or angst-driven melodies. On the contrary, if the album pictures prove to be a good sampling of all musicians involved, this is pretty music by pretty people. From this perspective, the songs are neither edgy nor dull. Bright would be the most accurate adjective. These songs are light in spirit and easy on the ears, a quality selection for summer days and open-windowed long drives.

http://www.armchair.mb.ca/~scissors/

‘The reason some movements thrive and others die is because of two simple reasons: unity and education. After years of being underground and unheard of, the sport/art/way of life that is the jamming of scissors finally has a resource that will help tie the loose threads of curious folks and rogue extremists together.

Who would’ve thought it would take so long to produce a comprehensive and all-encompassing site on the art of scissor jamming? Certainly, it’s about time that this informative site gets the attention it deserves.

So, members of Obsessive Users of Crotch Harmers (O.U.C.H.) and independent jammers alike can final wipe the sweat of their brows and relax. This site provides not only a history of jamming scissors and a list of celebrity jammers but also an intuitive list of Dos and Don’ts that are to live and die by. Here is a sample question and answer from the section:

Hey, isn’t this just a metaphor for masturbation?

No. If blood spurts out of you when you masturbate, you should see a doctor.

You may shirk in fear and repulsion at the thought of others stabbing themselves with sharp objects in delicate areas. You may be in disbelief, asking yourself, “Do people really do this?”

To that we respond, “Are you that gullible?” Please do not jam scissors into your crotch. We at the Colorado Daily do not advocate it, nor do we take responsibility for your actions. It’s just sick, dark, and twisted humor. Enjoy.

For more information, visit the local Planned Jammerhood chapter.

s/t

‘Allow me to jump on the ass-kissing train that has been following David Grohl for a decade now. The man can do no wrong, not even with death metal. If you’re looking for a new orifice torn into the nether regions of your body, this is the record for you.

If having phrases like “Red war will fall on my enemies” screamed countless times in a manner that is bound to cause throat cancer does not do it for you, this may not be a wise purchase.

Metal, namely of the Death and Black varieties, can downright be frightening at points. Most fans of the genre consider this to be the shining moments of songs. Personally, the lighter alloys are a bit more my style.

Songs like “Shake Your Blood” with Motorhead’s Lemmy and “Access Babylon” with Corrosion of Conformity’s Mike Dean sate this thirst. The music is as hard and in-your-face as nearly every other song on the album, but a bit more accessible.

The best part of this record is, there’s no trace of Metallica anywhere on it. Sorry to rain on the shit parade, but they suck.

The surprise of this record is hidden track. The singer is not credited but rumor has it that Jack Black is the man behind the mic. A quick listen to the song will make you a believer of the rumor. How fun is that?

After a pummeling album like this, Black’s performance is the best way to end the record.

Working towards number one

‘”Muscle, when will I see it?” asks Steve Poponi in his low, David Bazan-esque voice on one of the closing tracks to the band’s debut full-length album, “And Nothing is #1.”

From a physical standpoint, the tall, wiry members of South Jersey’s Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right BA Start are a long way off from being living representations of the Greek Gods. Musically speaking though, the band can easily pull rank as heavyweight contenders.

They have worked hard through uphill battles and self-touring, self-promoting catastrophes to make a name for themselves. Now, UUDD can proudly say that no band speaks better of the punk and DIY ethics then the boys of Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right BA Start. After years of honing their sound and building a strong, firm allegiance across the eastern half of the country, the band is preparing to settle into bigger digs and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

“This is the first national tour we’ve done and we’re all so excited for it,” began Steve Poponi, the band’s front man. With a ten-hour drive ahead of him and a seeming infinitude of weary road miles behind him, he is energetic and overwrought. “Not only do we get to play music for a living, but it’s like we’re on a cross-country vacation.”

Touring is paying off generously for UUDD. For the most part, the shows have been packed, the band has been warmly received, and the chemistry of the group is congealing well with the addition of second guitarist John Mascino (Kids Inc., Ghostman on Third, The New Anxiety). Also, the members of UUDD have been given some more creative legroom since signing with OHEV Records, a label responsible for catapulting the likes of Hot Hot Heat, Kind of Like Spitting, and Rocking Horse Winner. The label is enthusiastic about working with the band and plans on spreading out the band’s already broad sound.

“We’ve been told that we’re a popular musician’s band for the mathy time signatures, but there’s definitely an accessible layer over that part that adds catchy little hooks that the crowd can get into,” said Poponi. “It’s really nice because there’s different levels that people seem to appreciate and if people appreciate it for one particular reason, they still notice that those other layers exist.”

Picture styles of music as a stereo equalizer. Each EQ band setting can add or subtract various dimensions to fill or empty out the sound. Consider these EQs as different musical genres. In this case, the UUDD equalizer has a good deal of settings, ranging from punk to emo to metal to pop to math rock, the band’s ace in the hole. Set to zero, the sounds come out flat. UUDD worked diligently, though, to fine-tune each style into a proper and distinct blend for full stereophonic pleasure.

They have achieved the same effect of a quality hi-fi equalizer. The production is a delicate balance that allows maximum impact from each instrument. The effort pays off in a customized sonance that eludes categorization. The tones are familiar but, like a phrase lost on the tip of a tongue, it is difficult to find the correct phrase or word choice to accurately describe them. The music is a remarkable blend of saccharine lyrics layered sweetly over subtle, complex guitar riffs. It is a thrashing combo of throaty screams competing fiercely with simple chord-driven structures. The music is slow, but the second your heart rate lowers to meet the tempo, you are hit with a wall of sonar static. The band reels you into soft, comfortable states only to pull the chair out from under you when you least expect it. Since UUDD is behind the music, they claim that it is difficult for them to define their sound and of course, there are the distractions that come from band known to have a good time.

“Well, it’s not difficult to answer your questions,” began drummer Scott Rumble. “It’s just that it’s hard to concentrate on anything with John [Mascino] walking around in his tighty-darkies.”

Perhaps the band’s new lineup is coming together a bit too quickly. Then again, UUDD has been known to joke around about rather quirky habits while touring. On a previous tour with the band’s previous guitarist, Phil Apostol, they constantly joked around about band spooning nights in the back of the touring van. Mascino appears to be adjusting quickly to the capriciousness.

“I am about to undertake my first ever night of spooning with a member of the band. The two newest members of the band, [bassist] Dave Damm and I will be spooning. So, I’ll let you know at the show if I got lucky.”

What else could serve as better incentive to come see a band often described as “one of the best bands you’ve never heard of?”

s/t

“For a band whose name makes you think of the stresses and tensions associated with the band lifestyle, The New Anxiety pulls it off effortlessly and as calmly as can be imagined.

TNA is phoenix rising from the ashes of a crumbling South Jersey/East Pennsylvania scene. Bands such as The Secession Movement and The English System that have helped to define that local scene over the past several years are turning off the amps and putting their instruments back in their cases.

At a time that may be considered one of despair, TNA is the bright beacon of hope built upon the experience of the members’ former bands, including Kids, Inc. and Ghostman on Third.

Like Kids and Ghostman, The New Anxiety’s brand of indie pop is based upon insightful lyrics, clever segues, and intelligent progressions. The songs are catchy while simultaneously contemplative and inspiring.

Guitarist/singer John Masino has recently been splitting his time between TNA and his newfound guitar duties as a member of Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right BA Start. As a result, The New Anxiety has been forced to take a backseat at points. The band works hard for what they do, though, and will most likely reemerge into the forefront of the Mid-Atlantic indie pop scene.

The five songs on this self titled EP clearly set up the path that TNA will take; writing good-quality music for anyone who will listen.

If the pace the band has set continues, at the very least The New Anxiety will be one of the best bands to slip through the cracks in 2003. A few years down the road, they may become a common household name.”

Moving out of the Drive-in

‘Not all things from Texas are bad. Although the state has been plagued with less-than-uplifting press, ranging from the depressing searches across the state for the remains of Columbia, to the mere existence of George W. Bush, the music scene is the state’s redemption for many.

Smaller labels, such as Has Anyone Ever Told You? records, help provide unique sounds that distinguish the state as the home of an unspoken sub-genre all its own: The Texas punk scene. No part of Texas shines more than El Paso, bordering on the southwestern tip of the state.

The El Paso music scene, like Gainesville, is small and also incestuous.

“The music community is so small that everybody knows everybody. If you play an instrument, everyone knows you,” said Paul Hinijos.

Guitarist Paul, alongside of guitarist/vocalist Jim Ward and drummer Tony Hajjar, were the heart and soul of At the Drive-in. Currently, with bassist Matt Miller, originally of the El Paso band Belknap, they comprise Sparta.

Whether or not they have experienced “Sparta,” the Japanese word meaning “harsh training,” is another matter all its own. They had an instant fan base built in due to the success of ATDI. They had been put through the wringer and are now coming out on the other side, rejuvenated and ready to tackle the project of Sparta.

“We are just forming as a band,” said Paul. “With the ‘Austere’ EP, we didn’t know what we wanted to do or what way we were headed. We became a band writing ‘Wiretap Scars.’ We took a lot of time writing the songs and spent a lot of time together and the project solidified into a band during those two months.

The presence of keyboards and experimentation is a bit less obvious in the current full-length disc, but will be coming into full bloom for the next release.

“For our next album, we had this idea to put everyone on their weakest instruments and just see what happens,” said Paul.

Interesting concept, to say the least.

“I guess we’re all just really inspired by the last Wilco album (“Yankee Hotel Foxtrot”). On the movie they made about the album, you see how they weren’t afraid to experiment. Even after they had established songs, they weren’t afraid to ask ‘What if we tried this?’”

At the Drive-in established their basis for experimental songwriting as the band grew with each album, and Sparta is continuing in this vein.

After ATDI broke up, frontmen Omar and Cedric formed the Mars Volta, which is heavily influenced by electronic sounds, while the rest of the band returned to their rock roots with Sparta.

Many people have sung the praises of the Sparta musicians for having their heads and hearts dedicated to truly caring about the music and musicianship involved in being in a band, while the Mars Volta has been criticized for their intent to garner fame.

“At the Drive-in was way more aggressive than Sparta is. We are the same people from the band and you can totally draw lines to At the Drive-in, but we’re getting older and our music is changing. I don’t think it sounds like At the Drive-in at all.”

The music is obviously different, but the writing sounds like a missing link between “Acrobatic Tenement” and “Relationship of Command.” The guitar writing has progressed and congealed into a style that is becoming the Sparta sound.

In the first seven days together, the band wrote 10 songs. It is obvious that the music was itching to get out and Sparta needed to be formed.

Good musicians are like sharks, never able to stop. The best musicians come from small scenes that they remain close to and help support, and Sparta is no exception to this dictum.