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worse for the wear

‘Maybe it’s sacrilege to say, but “Worse for the Wear” is undoubtedly the most solid piece of work put out by any member of The Getup Kids.

Matthew Pryor’s musical coequal, The New Amsterdams, is the flipside of the coin from his more noted endeavor, The Getup Kids. The music is a laid-back project in which nothing spews forth further than Pryor’s sincerity.

The New Amsterdams is a diamond, slowly condensing and compacting itself into a bare-bones band in the rough of the incestuous Midwestern indie rock scene. The project has grown up alongside many of the younger and late-blooming scenesters, exposing them to an offshoot – the folk roots of indie music. That is something for which Pryor should be commended.

Aside from providing this coincidental public service, his lyrics have the sharp bite of an aging cynic, too old to be a part of the scene but too dependent upon it to leave. It’s a trap that not only puts the musician in a tough spot, but it also surrounds that person with false friends and can turn art into a commercial business. In Pryor’s case, as with so many countless others, it can lead to drinking.

These are the topics brought to the forefront in some of the album’s best tracks, including “The Spoils of the Spoiled,” “Hover Near Fame,” and “All Our Vice.”

The most impressive quality is not what this record has to say or how the music sounds. Rather, it is the fact that it flows naturally. At no point during any of the multiple listens of which this record is worthy will you find any reason to question anything you hear. It is captivating, enthralling, and thoroughly evokes empathy from the listener.

It’s hard to feel bad for someone who has suffered as much success as Pryor, and this record succeeds in that task.

http://www.kissonline.com/kasket

‘The men behind the long tongues and makeup just won’t give it up, will they?

Yeah, yeah, we get it. You want to rock and roll all night and so on. We all do. It’s not what they want to do that’s an issue, though. It’s how they’re going about it. First of all, registering your band name as a trademark is taking it one step beyond the line. Creating a casket for your fans is just going way too far.

Hello, people? There is a KISS(r) Kasket. No, you’re not reading that wrong. It’s the God’s honest truth and possibly one of the most disturbing things I’ve heard this year, next to every word that has come out of Michael Savage’s mouth that is.

Take a look at this excerpt from the “Kasket’s” description:

“In addition, ‘KISS(r) Kasket’ can also be used as a Giant KISS(r) Cooler, enabling fans and their friends to enjoy ice-cold sodas and beer served directly from the ice-filled, completely waterproof ‘KISS(r) Kasket.’ The ‘KISS(r) Kasket.’ is autographed and signed.”

In addition? IN ADDITION? Are people really partying out of a fucking Kasket? I sincerely hope that KISS fans aren’t taking the phrase “in addition” literally. A corpse and a case of beer should not be mixed in the same casket. Thank God it’s waterproof, though. Geez, heaven forbid you have a leaky casket six feet underground.

What is the difference between “autographed” and “signed?” Whatever, at least those signatures should really up the value of your dead stoner cousin’s corpse.

I would love to meet the person, and there most likely is one, that bought this horrible reflection on humanity. For every one step forward that civilization makes, KISS is there to take it two steps back.

They serve a purpose, though. Without people like them, we’d have nothing to write about.

http://www.eeggs.com

‘As any techie and faithful geek knows, an Easter Egg can be much more interesting than pastel paints and loose change. An Easter Egg, in addition to somehow serving as an iconic symbol of Christ rising from the dead, is also a piece of information hidden within a work. This work can range from a computer program to a book to a DVD.

Think back to the first time you played Contra on Nintendo. When you found out what came to be known as the “Konami Code,” it shed a whole new light on the game. There was more than met the eye. Uncovering the truth about Eggs can be addictive. It may have you searching your movie collection vigorously, or hitting random key combinations on your computer in a vane attempt to find these little treasures.

As a result, Web enthusiasts have picked up on the public’s desire to unlock these secrets. Many websites now serve as instructional databases, providing the viewer with countless tips and techniques on how to find Easter Eggs. Eeggs.com is a good example of such a database. It has a collected around 6500 tricks on what secrets may be lurking around in your books, artworks, and computer. In addition, Eeggs.com has created a companion website, http://www.slipups.com, which unearths the truth of overlooked mistakes in movies, books, and speeches. One can assume W makes more than his fair share of appearances on this site.

If this does not sate your curiosity, the wealth of information does not end on this site. There are plenty of sites dedicated to discovering Easter Eggs for particular sites. For instance, http://www.homestarrunner.net shows you all of the cheats and secrets behind Homestarrunner.com. As we mentioned in our previous review of Homestarrunner.com, Homestar says “Homestarrunner.net… it’s dot com.”

Other sites, such as http://dvd.ign.com/eggs.html, discuss only the hidden features in DVDs.

For the most well-rounded source of information in a variety of mediums, though, The Easter Egg Archive is our top choice.

open hearts and clear minds

‘File under generic. See also: pointless, waste of: time, energy, money, effort.

First things first, just because it’s faster, that doesn’t mean it’s better. Take Pennywise for example. If you listen to any old Bad Religion vinyl recorded at 33 rpm (generally speaking, the older the better, and “Suffer” is top of the list) and play it at 45 rpm. The result would be quite comparable to the sounds of Pennywise. It sounds awkward, rushed, and forced. There’s no need for it. Of course, if the intent is to show off your masculinity, then you might as well drop your drawers and take advantage of the cover art photography. Instead, this album’s cover is packed with the run of the mill hardcore singer, in the pit, reaching out and singing to his undying legions of hardcore fans.

On the surface, the music on this album is like that of H2O’s “Thicker than Water”. There is not much deeper then that, though. Therein lies the problem.

One quick look at the lyrics will show you that this is a bunch of straightedge kids in it for the scene. “When the kids are united?” It’s the world the likes of Kevin Seconds and Ray Cappo preached so fervently that the message became immune to the masses once the fans started turning the ripe old age of twenty-something.

Of course, there are valuable lessons that can be learned from songs with social justice underpinnings but that message is much more succinct and infinitely clearer in most old folk songs. People like Phil Ochs and Woodie Guthrie were well-educated activists who had an intellectual and informed message to spread. They were not just blindly screaming “Don’t kill animals because that is bad,” because they remember hearing Propagandhi sing “Meat is still murder. Dairy is still rape” In this case, the intent is there but there is no semblance of information from educated informers.

Shy of the straight-from-the-depths-of-hell roaring scream, which can be effective if done well or in moderation (ie. Boy Sets Fire, Coalesce, Refused) The First Step seems to be your typical post-emo, screamo, metal, straightedge punk whatever band in a successive lineage of groups whose names sound like they would make great short stories for Shirley Jackson’s readers (ie. The Casket Lottery, Dillinger Escape Plan, Further Seems Forever).

In summation, this album sends out a generic message from a generic band playing generic music to an indistinguishable see of generic faced fans draped in black from head to toe with XXX tattoos and too small tees.

http://www.angrynakedpat.com/network/icf

‘Within this Web site you will discover everything that is wrong with American culture, the youth of today and the negative effects of technology.

It is very, very sad seeing this waste of a childhood take place in Windows Movie format right before your eyes. Watch as young Andy sits in front of his computer and raps about Parappa the Rappa, a video game character – one of the few pop culture references he can accurately make. Then, watch him sit in front of his computer and profanely sing about intercourse between friends.

The child is pale, obese and sickly-looking. It is sad. Of course, we are not mocking obesity, but rather the fact that his surroundings and what seems like a lack of ability to make it through the front door has contributed to it.

What is this kid doing in his bedroom with every piece of computer, recording and gaming equipment that a techie geek can dream of? Someone needs to intervene and lock him out of his house – or shut the electricity off.

For those of you who may think this chubby, pasty face looks familiar, Andy Milonakis first gained popularity with the assistance of sites like Ifilm.com. His “hit” “The Superbowl Is Gay” features an unkempt Andy, who strums a partially detuned guitar and chants that everything from the Super Bowl to water to the sky is “gay.”

It’s a train wreck.

At the end of this so-called song, Milonakis makes the claim that he is not gay. Well, buddy, in a world where everyone and everything else is gay, you are going to have a very, very lonely life.

In all honesty, this site is depressing. A lot of time and effort has obviously gone into it – but to what end? What future is this poor child going to have?

A lot of people are promoting this site, and Milonakis has even had a few television guest spots. With each endorsement, the behavior is reinforced and this child will continue to deteriorate.

Somebody take this kid hiking, or at least make him walk to McDonald’s.

All in a day’s work

‘”What happened in Japan is better left a blameless situation,” began Strike Anywhere vocalist, Thomas Barnett. “We were informed that we didn’t have the proper visas and were under house arrest for 48 hours. We couldn’t talk to anyone we knew.”

This was an eye-opening experience for the members of Strike Anywhere. They were stuck in a foreign country in which most of them hadn’t been before. They could barely communicate with the people that held the keys to their freedom.

To top it all off, they were completely powerless to do anything about the situation.

“As an aside, when you’re under house arrest in a foreign country and they take your passports and plane tickets, you’re really under a lot of stress,” said Barnett. “Being in this limbo where you’re a persona non grata is chilling. You don’t realize how much it can put you through. It gives you a realistic sense of empathy for the economic imbalances that occur with immigration into the States.”

It’s a feeling to which few people can personally relate. In addition to being put through the mental anguish of it all, the band’s tour dates were cancelled and they could neither promote their upcoming CD, “Exit English,” nor could they make the money to feed themselves, since they were already living hand-to-mouth on tour.

“When you come to a foreign country with anything that has the word ‘tour’ on it, they expect you to have some money,” he said. “That’s the punk-rock phenomenon, we were all broke. Even a credit card would’ve helped the situation.”

Is the band sorry for the troubles they were put through? Wasn’t it ever so frustrating to be stripped of your liberties over a small misunderstanding? Not at all. The members of Strike Anywhere are more than pleased with the story they have to tell and the people they met. Also, they’re glad that they could have a taste of injustice with which they can empathize.

“We got a taste of what we put the rest of the world through when foreigners try to come to America,” he continued. “As a result, we have a lot of love for what little we know of Japan. They really did a lot to help us when they didn’t have to. It’s a big bureaucracy and the guards have no reason to care. They could have just kept doing the job they were taught to do.”

The “nice immigration officers” ended up helping the band get out of Japan. Once the officers figured out where the band needed to go, they found them tickets to Brisbane, Australia. The band had to pay for the tickets. It landed them in the country eight days before their next show. It was a penniless but eventful vacation.

“I have relatives in Sydney,” said Barnett. “So, we got to stay with my uncle who was arranging a nationwide teachers’ strike. That was cool to see. He introduced us to Cindy, who was the Aboriginal Welcomer for all officials. It’s a formal ceremony that happens on all events, like the Olympics. She welcomes the non-aboriginal Australians who have been there for over 200 years. It’s spectacular and shows some sort of cultural understanding between the two peoples there. It was a great experience that helped balance out what happened in Japan.”

The tour continued, and now the band is back in the States for a tour that won’t require visas or the threat of deportation. The album comes out this week, and things are continuing to look up for the band. They’ve certainly learned from the experiences they’ve garnered on the road.

“During a previous tour, we were held up at gunpoint,” said Barnett. “So, we’ve definitely dealt with some drama on the road.”

http://www.romnation.com

‘”ROMs?” you ask.

Yes, ROMs. For those unfamiliar with the term, in this instance, a ROM is a version of a video game available for play on your computer via the use of an Emulator. An Emulator is a program which allows you to run a particular game file. For instance, if you download a Nintendo ROM, you need a Nintendo Emulator to play it.

ROMNation, like many other similar sites, provides its visitors with both. While the site offers interesting features, such as Neo Geo and Playstation Emulators and a ton of Atari ROMs, the main draw of the site is its grab bag of Nintendo goodies.

Nintendo, the New Kids on the Block of gaming systems, transfers well into emulated form. There are many types of Nintendo Emulators as well, including the more popular JNES and Nesticle.

Once you download the program and the games, they can easily be unzipped and stored in whatever is the most convenient place on your hard drive. They take up little room but can kill a lot of time.

“But that sounds illegal!” you interject, interrupting this article for the second time.

There’s no need to be skeptical. These gaming geeks have found some loopholes in the system. The standard rule of thumb is if you own the game, you can own the ROM. If you don’t own the game, it should be deleted from the computer within 24 hours.

Although the NES police may not be after you for an illegal download of Bubble Bobble, we don’t advocate breaking any laws. Well, we don’t advocate getting caught, anyway. Right, McChesney?

So, if the situation is legal and you miss playing Metroid, head over to ROMNation and begin the downloading frenzy. Just don’t mind the ads for the cartoon porn. We don’t advocate those either.

http://www.welovearnold.com

‘Yes, they make fun of the time-travel issue. Yes, they make fun of the orgy and the “inhaling and exhaling everything.” They also make a joke out of “Total Recall.” It’s a website about Arnold Schwarzenwhatever. The jokes, like him, are simple.

You know what the sad thing is? From coast to coast, I would be willing to bet that more people are familiar with California’s gubernatorial candidates then they are of the potential candidates for the 2004 presidential election. It is unfortunate, and most likely true.

We Love Arnold is a satirical look at one actor’s campaign for governor. It’s a harrowing tale that includes an in-depth view of Arnold’s words and how they can be humorously used against him. The site also includes a variety of statistics, most notable being Arnold vs. Reagan.

This tale of the tape points out the similarities and differences between these actors-turned-politicians. Some interesting facts include: “Most Famous Movie Role: Reagan: Starring next to a chimp. Arnold: Starring next to a robot” and “POLITICAL EXPERIENCE PRIOR TO RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR: REAGAN: President, Screen Actors Guild; Friendly witness, House of Representatives Committee on Un-American Activities; After-dinner speaker, General Electric Company. ARNOLD: Participant, Kennedy family barbecues; Organizer, successful campaign for California after-school programs.”

The statistics speak for themselves. Arnold is well over-qualified for the position of running a state most noted for Hollywood and its expose-style documentaries shown on E!. The race should be tight, considering he has a lot of competition from a whore, a smut-peddler, and a never-turned-adult child-actor whose only hit co-starred a coke addict and a thief.

On second thought, the sad thing is that no jokes are necessary. The truth is funny enough as it is.

s/t

“The cover art looks like it is some Ian Svenonious-led project like Nation of Ulysses or Make Up. The guitar work is just as loud and noisy but the vocals are much different. It’s much higher-pitched, giving the band a much different sound than NOU. Like NOU, or Make Up, the Black Eyes also fit perfectly on Dischord. It’s quality art noise to play pretty for baby. High points: Ian MacKaye produced, leaving little margin of error. Low points: It’s too stereotypical. While being on Dischord separates their sound from most bands out there, the band does very little to separate themselves from other Dischord bands.”

the devil isn’t red

‘One can only imagine that this CD is the soundtrack to one of Les Claypool’s wet dreams. The guitar and drum work sounds lifted directly out of something he had a hand in himself. It’s anything but ordinary. This is instrumentalism in a looser sense of the word, noise in the more traditional sense.

It’s a different way of thinking, a creative and original way of structuring songs. This is how Jackson Pollock would have written music – multiple crescendos of sound spattered, one on top of the other, across the musical canvas of an album. I picture the two band members looking like a cross between Ed Harris and They Might Be Giants. That comparison has little to do with the sound but, hey, if they can assume what color the Prince of Darkness isn’t, I can assume what they look like.

“The Devil Isn’t Red” is that piece of art about which the reviews are split equally between “brilliant” and “I don’t get it.”

This has to be a California band. Nobody in the rest of the country would think to write music like this. Nor would anyone else use the word Hella.

File this under misunderstood geniuses, lovers of performance art or ?bermodernism.

It’s good, I think, but maybe it’s just the pressure to appreciate that which I cannot understand.

Best song title: “Welcome to the Jungle Baby, You’re Gonna Live!” Take that, Axl Rose.