5. HAZMAT suit

This one kind of goes without saying, right? If your boss is toxic, you need to stay safe. If you need to be around your boss, pick up a HAZMAT suite from your local nuclear fallout shop and take it to work. You won’t regret it!

4. Containment booth

If your boss is toxic, he may not know the effect he is having on you. So, you may need to speak up and tell him that the toxicity is literally killing you. If he does nothing to improve the situation, go to HR and tell them. Let them know he’s toxic and they need to get him in a containment booth immediately.

The Snark is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

3. Bunker buddy

Every office has at least one doomsday prepper. Find yours and befriend him. You’ll need to brush up on shadow governments, the deep state, and Pepe Silvia to earn his trust. Once you’re in, ask HR for permission to work from his fallout shelter. It’s the only place your boss’s toxicity can’t reach you.

2. Fight toxicity with toxicity

If your boss gets too toxic, you need to fight back with your own toxicity. If

1. You can’t.

I guess we didn’t think that last tip through very well, and now you’re dead. Our bad! Well, we can’t say we didn’t solve your toxicity problem, though. So, yay for us!

Parting words of wisdom

Just remember that, while we try to provide the best advice possible, it is important that you reach out to OSHA, PHMSA, OMFG, and the deity of your choosing before entering an office with a toxic manager, or any toxic employee for that matter.

The Snark is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.